It’s time to admit that Bluetooth is a failure

I only have empirical evidence to back this up, but Bluetooth is a heap of fucking shite.

The technology has never worked successfully – whether or not it pairs with a device seems based on the slightest whim: a speaker that has worked successfully with a computer for ages will suddenly act like they are complete strangers speaking different languages.

The internet is filled with “How do I” queries for different devices, operating systems and generations of software – the answer all seem to vague “keep trying, champ”, “reset your speakers/computer” or simply step out the first thing that everyone tries when attempting to connect.

It’s antiquated technology, especially when Wi-Fi is searing through the air almost everywhere you go.

Pictured: Actual insanity

We have two Bluetooth speakers in our office, which I won’t reveal the brand names for, because this is beside the point. Neither work consistently, the multiple devices will accidentally kick each other off all the time, making the office music selection sound like an Avalanches record, such are the frequent jumps and interruptions, and Christ help you if you pause a song, do something else, then attempt to reconnect.

It seemed like wireless magic when it first arrived, and we forgave the clunkiness. Now it just seems like a magic trick that depends on whether the cards are shuffled correctly.

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This article originally appeared on The Industry Observer, which is now part of The Music Network.